Milton Keynes, where Blake’s Seven meets Sunshine Deserts.

A strange, almost other-worldly place where one wouldn’t be surprised to find a contrived franchise of a football club and a collection of chain pubs dotted between the concrete and offices. It certainly delivers.

Good news about the station is that it’s near the ground and something I especially like about MK is that the station announcer sounds like Holly off Red Dwarf. You half expect him to start pouring out his life’s woes over the tannoy to the weary delayed passengers below.

Shout Bar is situated above the bus station next door to the train station, and is probably the nearest to the ground.

My advice is, from the station traverse the concrete in a diagonal right (a virtual arrestable offence in this city) until you reach Avebury Boulevard, which at the station end is a dog muck ridden concrete walkway that leads up towards the centre, strange because you never see any dogs.

About 7 minutes walk you will encounter Wetherspoons (Moon Under Water, or some such name) tucked behind the Red –brick Abbey National office. It’s here that you are best advised to set up camp in what is a fairly salubrious environment with surprisingly good service for JD’s. That Wetherspoons real ale favourite “sorry not available” was also pleasantly conspicuous by its absence on my last visit.

Don’t forget to drink a toast to Milton Keynes City FC, the club whose dismembered traditions along with those of Wimbledon, were used to create MKDFC. Unlike Wimbledon, for them there was no re-incarnation and the ground that boasted the country’s oldest stand lies derelict.

Should you be chomping at the bit to get in some early Christmas shopping then cross over to Midsummer Boulevard and walk right up to the top of it (tap dancing to Singing In The Rain if you prefer) and head left into the Silbury Centre which is a very impressive shopping emporium that boasts the usual collection of shopping centre eateries.

Upon doing so you will encounter a further Wetherspoons, an All Bar One, and a Café Med, none of which are particularly better than the first Wetherspoons, but at least its downhill on the way back to the ground.