Rumours floating around the internet and less salubrious sports columns suggest that United may be interested in purchasing Gerrard when the transfer window opens.

Leeds were running the ruler over a few of the youngsters when they came for a lesson in humility just last week, and it’s no surprise they’ve picked Ant-nee, one of our rising stars, to join them on their way to Europe. It’s only a shame they can’t afford more.

No strong confirmations, so this is just a rumour, and so is the estimated fee - four hundred big ones. Best make sure that’s an up-front payment, Jeff, as 8p in the pound is no good for any add-ons later.

Right, that headline and opener should see site traffic up nicely!