In this selection of dregs from the bottom of the internet tea urn we bring some fascinating mystical predictions about Walsall FC.

Club Owns Stadium!
In his now regular press utterings, Bonser was wheeled out by the club to ambush the local papers with some absolutely sensational news. Walsall FC now owns it’s own stadium! Speaking to the Express & Dogpoo, Uncle Jeff, the illustrious and august owner of our beloved club, managed to state that traditionally we’ve played a pre-season frinedly against Villa “ever since we’ve owned the stadium“! It must be true - we read it in black and white. The only other explanation is that with board-member Peter Gilman’s offspring marrying into the royal family, Bonser was using the Royal ‘We’. That or the paper got it wrong.

Pre-season friendly change!
Apparently we’ve ditched the Wolves in favour of a match against Birmingham. It must be true - it was mentioned by Mr. Bonser in the paper! Anyone knowing the time or date, please contact Jeff so he can open up our stadium for the hordes of adoring faithful to attend this great event.

No New Signings!
Since Zaaboub signed on his very own no-more-independence day, July 4, we’ve not had a signing, although apparently a (shock! horror!) transfer bid for Russell Penn was turned by the Harriers - who thought we must be kiddy-ing. Still, not to worry, as there’s plenty of time before the season starts, Our Lord and Master, Jeff Bonser (who else?), stated on July 18 that he expects at least 3 new faces within 7-10 days, and as it’s in the paper, it’s gotta be a fact. In our very own ‘Countdown’ we’ll check each day to see who’s turned up between Jul 18 and 28. It’s easy so far - nobody. We’ll probably have none from the top and three from the bottom, please, Carol.

So, that’s about all for now. We’ve trailed media guru Jeff Bonser round the traps and brought the best we could find. No comment at all on the training ground being a massive draw card for the crowd of new players falling over themselves to sign for us.