The latest delectable treats from the smorgasbord of internet gossip that surrounds our beloved club.

Triallists, Hopefuls and Rumours
Since we last wrote The Blender, Walsall have signed Michael Ricketts. Despite this major coup nothing more has been heard, although we’ve been linked with (at least) 21 players since then.

To save the mailboy at the Excrete & Stir having to do any more than the bare minimum he’s used to, here’s all the names for their ‘Transfer Rumours’ section: Chris Birchall, Marco Reich, Nick Chadwick, Anthony Grant, Graham Kavanagh, Kenny Lunt, Russ Penn, Keegan Ayre, Chris Palmer, Georges Ba, Patrick Suffo, Inigo Idiakez, Justin Cochrane, Luke Guttridge, Lilian Nalis, Ben Muirhead, Daniel Nardiello, Deneiro Moore, Tom Ellis, Anthony Miller and Trevor Benjamin.

It’s a bit of a concern, maybe, that we’ve not got any news on this front, but perhaps Jimmy Mullen has seen what he needs from the players we have.

Games, Warm-Ups and Income Streams
Walsall sides of varying ages and qualities have also been busy since the last Blender. A total of 6 games have been played (none against Birmingham), and 35 different players named on the teamsheet for these games, so we’re in no danger of not having looked at enough players / kids / triallists in our search for the perfect squad.

The jumble-sale rummage continues with more games ahead of the season opener, although Jimmy ‘Fix-It’ Mullen has declared that he’s 90% certain of what his starting line-up will be, indicating we’re no closer now to naming any new signings in a hurry, despite all the new faces we’ve seen.

Demontagnac- shape up, lad!
Our man at the helm, Jimmy Mullen, has echoed comments that have been made over the last few seasons by many users of UTS when speaking of Ishmel Demontagnac. He agrees whole-heartedly with everyone who has ever said the lad has talent, but needs to learn consistency. We think this season has the potential to be the watershed in Ishy’s career - he’ll be either a hero or a nobody at the end of it. Good luck, Ishmel - we’re hoping you can mature and grow at the Banks’s, since it’s always a pleasure to hear opposition commentators mangle their pronounciation of your name.

Jeff Bonser - an apology
We’re sorry not to be able to bring you our glorious leader’s latest utterances, but since the last column someone’s gagged him. Sadly we’re therefore unable to bring confirmation of the three new faces or the result of the Walsall vs Birmingham game. Our apologies.

Don’t just book it…
…Thomas Cook it! The club’s linked up with Thomas Cook so if you go to the relevant part of the official site you’ll get details of how to get your guaranteed discount just for being a Walsall fan. We’d tell you more but can’t just lift anything from the official site due to the cut/paste facility not working in there. We encourage all fans to take advantage of this offer, which is thought to be subsidised by the extensive use of Thomas Cook by a certain P Taylor, a Saddler of some repute in the sunny travel business.

Well, that’s about it for now. First game just over a week away!!