Sorry this is late - been away!
Destination: Plymouth Argyle
Famous for: Sir Francis Drake, Spain hater and part-time sailor, used to bowl here. Also renowned for having a disproportionately high number of chavs and disabled residents. This is probably because the only ways out of Plymouth are to swim or climb a hill, so after rolling here, they got stuck. The Pilgrims managed to build a boat (or three) and sailed as far as America to get away.
The club: Plymouth Argyle. Probably named after a pub, and as nobody can remember for sure, it’s almost certainly true. Perennial underachievers, just like us, although they’ve managed to play the insolvency game on the way through. Recently, director Simon Hallett threw £5mm at the club, and other directors converted their loans to equity. Can’t understand why Bonser never went for that option.
The ground: Home Park. Blown up by the Germans in World War Two, then subsequently further improved at the turn of the century. Still needs improving.
The awayday pub selection:
Bescot Banter fans should go to the Southway. Bagged by online reviewers, but much loved by the locals, just like BB.
Vital Walsall fans should go to Hyde Park Social Club, where the £2 entry charge will keep the riff raff out, and the 15 minute walk to the ground will deter the average fan.
WFHYS fans should go to the Britannia. Bang-average Wetherspoons, where you have to queue to get in before you queue at the bar. Try having a Saddlers sing-a-long with the bouncers and see who comes out on top.
UTS fans should go to the Barbican area behind the Hoe (not a misspelling) and explore some of the many pubs there before grabbing a cab to the ground.
Locals recommend the Pennycomequick, suggesting we’ll be right at home as it was turned into slum flats a while back.
If the game looks rubbish head to Devonport and engage in sophisticated conversation with the local Swills.
This guide is not intended to be current, does not purport to be accurate, and may result in mental or physical injury if advice is followed.