Season Odes 2009/10

This section of the board is an archive of topics from Walsall's recent history - e.g. Ray Graydon's sacking, the arrival and subsequent departure of Paul Merson. It also houses the tributes paid to Jolysaddler.
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Season Odes 2009/10

Thu Jul 09, 2009 8:12 am

More violations and atrocities against the creative worlds of music and lyricism.

Ode to Mark Hughes
(Music: Kings of Leon Lyrics: King Crimson)


Found at Sixfields Ground, home of Northampton Town, came on a free.
Need a new face to fill up the place that Gerrard’s been.
You know that we could use somebody
You know that we could use somebody
Someone like Hughes

And players go and we must seek
Countless new ones if we’re going to compete
You know that we could use somebody
You know that we could use somebody
Someone like Hughes

You’re twenty two, years left in you, we’ll share them all
From Toffee to Cobbler now a Saddler here walking tall
I hope we’re gonna make you know its
I hope we’re gonna make you know its a
Good place to be
Good place to be
Good place to be
Somebody
Someone like Hughes
Somebody
Someone like Hughes
Somebody
Someone like Hughes
Somebody
Found at Sixfields Ground, home of Northampton Town, on a free.

[Repeat chorus until NME photographer arrives for photoshoot]

Steve Graham Jones
Music: Lennon/McCartney Lyrics: King Crimson - To the tune of 'She's Leaving Home'


Friday morning at six o'clock as my day begins
Silently checking the internet
Hoping we’ve signed some new players yet
We see no reports of new players, only that a coach departs
Worried about the new season ahead
Wishing I had stayed in bed.

Steve (Our new striker to be)
Graham (We need some maturity)
Jones (Deeney and Nicholls too young to get by)
Steve Graham Jones was at Bradford on loan
For most of last year. Good buy.

Now at work with so much to do and so little time
Colleague tells me a striker today
Is here at The Banks’s and set to play
He’s come from Burnley promoted, they don’t need him at all
Signed him today on a two year deal
Making our goal threat more real.

Steve (Now he is thirty two)
Graham (Scored loads of goals while at Crewe)
Jones (Relegation would make all of us cry)
Steve Graham Jones was at Bradford on loan
For most of last year. Good buy.


Now the start of the season does not seem so far away
Still need some new blood to build a team
Then all the saddlers can dream.

Steve (score us the goals to go up)
Graham (give us a run in the cup)
Jones (don’t make us grumble and ask ourselves why)
Ricketts has gone, Jabo joined MK Dons
You’ve allayed our fears.
Steve Graham Jones, good buy.

[Repeat chorus until Yoko messes everything up]

One for the oldies, this:

Ode to Josh O’Keefe
(Music: The Platters Lyrics: King Crimson)
– To the tune of “I Believe”


Josh O’Keefe is running onto long balls
His talent glows,
Josh O’Keefe runs box to box, been Premier League
Pedigree shows,
Josh O’Keefe onto a pass that goes astray,
He’ll show the squad just how to play,
Josh O’Keefe, Josh O’Keefe.

Josh O’Keefe the answer to our midfield prayer
Singing be heard,
Josh O’Keefe is someone to take us somewhere
Promotion absurd?
Every time I hear the opposition cry,
Or cheer a goal, and punch the sky,
Then I know why,
Josh O’Keefe.

Every time I hear the opposition cry,
Or cheer a goal, and punch the sky,
Then I know why,
Josh O’Keefe.

[Repeat chorus until your candle goes out]

Ode to Sam Parkin
Music: Joni Mitchell Lyrics: King Crimson – To the tune of “Big Yellow Taxi”


A squad that is nice, but we can’t pay a lot
We’ve a big hotel, a market, and a caberet hot spot
Not just the Joe Longthorne Show
Football season’s nearly begun
A striker we’ve signed, and we like Parkin a lot.

He pulled up trees, when playing for Swindon Town
But even his skills couldn’t stop Luton from going down
Must have been a bitter blow
Your relegation days have surely gone
A striker we’ve signed, and we like Parkin a lot.

Hey Chris Hutchins, stick with four-four-two
Give me wingers with flair and some talent up front that’s new, you!
Forwards they may come and go
Ricketts and Jabo moving on?
A striker we’ve signed, and we like Parkin a lot.

Tuesday night, to score would be so sweet
Wolverhampton – get used to defeat,
Chelsea days seem long ago
But Sam we’ll have a lot of fun
A striker we’ve signed, and we like Parkin a lot.

[Repeat chorus while being Beatnik and complicated]

Ode to Peter Till
(Music: Carole King Lyrics: King Crimson)

-To the tune of "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?"

Last night you signed so cheaply,
Commit to us completely,
Tonight dream of a goal ‘gainst Albion,
And Till you’ll score it tomorrow.

Played for the Blues and Grimsby,
Make our midfield less flimsy,
The Baggies reel as you fly down the wing,
And Till you’ll skin them tomorrow.

Tonight you’ll count the hours,
We’re glad you’ve come here on a free,
And through the sunshine and showers,
We’ll be there (We’ll be there)
Supping Bovril and tea.

I'd like to know that you Till,
Have all the flair and skill, Till,
So play out wide and get amongst the goals,
And Till you’ll score one tomorrow?
And Till you’ll score one tomorrow?

[Repeat chorus whilst resisting the advance of Neil Sedaka]


Matt'll Do Well
(Music: Jim Steinman Lyrics: King Crimson)


The floodlights are shining and the stewards are prowling
Way down at The Banks’s tonight
There’s a man getting changed with a glint in his eye
And boots shining oh so bright
There’s Ralgex in the air and there’s some on Roberts’ thigh
And the Tannoy’s pumping out the beats
And down in the tunnel where the tension is rising
Oh I swear I saw a young man
Doing his laces
Making sure his boots were on the right feet
Oh Richards you’re the only winger in this world
That we’ve come to see tonight
And wherever you run and whenever you pass
Will fill us with delight
But you gotta get out
You gotta run out now
Before the whistle blows to start
So go and make the most of our night game together
When its over you know
You’ll have torn their team apart

Cos Matt’ll do well
He’ll be gone when his marker comes
When the season is over
If Matt’ll do well he’ll be gone gone gone
But Matt’ll do well for assists and a goal or two
When the game is done
And the lights go out
And the moonlight’s shining through
Then like a winner before the Wembley steps
We’ll cheer and give support to you


[Repeat chorus whilst trying to work out where all the royalties went]

We’ll Do Better Second Time
(Music by Thompson/James/Christopher Lyrics: King Crimson)
[To the tune of Elvis’ ‘Always on My Mind’]


Jamie, we didn’t greet you
Quite as good as we should have
Jamie, we didn’t cheer you
Quite as often as we could have
Little things we should have said and done
As you ran down the touchline

We’ll do better second time
we’ll do better second time

Tell us, tell us that you're glad you have returned
Give us, give us one more chance
Saddlers' support is earned

Jamie we didn’t sign you
After twelve games here on loan
And I guess we just remind you
Of Colin Lee’s strange monotone
If we made you feel second best
Other left back was just fine

We’ll do better second time
we’ll do better second time

Tell us, tell us that your glad you have returned
Give us, give us one more chance
Saddlers' support is earned
We’ll do better second time
we’ll do better second time

[Repeat chorus until the last Rhinestone falls off yer catsuit]

Ode to Darren Byfield
“Byfield” (Lyrics: King Crimson Music: The Temptations) – to the tune of “My Girl”


We've got Gillingham
Home on Saturday.
Needed goals in the side,
At Charlton away.

Well, I guess you'll say
Who can make the saddlers play?
Byfield. (Byfield, Byfield)
Returning Darren Byfield. (Byfield)


Been away a long time
But memory stays with me.
Of a day in Cardiff
His goal that made it three.

Well, I guess you'll say
Who can make the saddlers play?
Byfield. (Byfield, Byfield)
Returning Darren Byfield. (Byfield)


Ooooh, Hoooo.

Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.

He don't need no Latics baby,
Lions, Robins, or the Vile.
Had more clubs than Faldo
Back to Walsall – for a while.

Well, I guess you'll say
Who can make the saddlers play?
Byfield. (Byfield, Byfield)
Returning Darren Byfield. (Byfield)


[Repeat chorus until ejected by stewards, having deemed gold lamé suits a fire hazard.]

Ode to Clayton McDonald
Music: Paolo Nutini Lyrics: King Crimson

To the tune of "Last Request"
Sung by Mannie Smith


Steve down, Hughes down,
Remember it's just you and me.
Don't worry, you’ve Mannie,
And soon you’ll be back at Man City.

We just want a clean sheet,
Is that alright?
So let's get a clean sheet tonight

Here is my request,
Just to play with you.
Don't shrug your shoulders,
Clayton beside me.
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,
For one month go there,
Clayton beside me


Oh, I've found, on this gound
To listen to “The Wednesbury Road”.
And I realise, all about the ties
Between the players and fans still there for sure.

We just want a clean sheet,
Is that alright?
So let's get a clean sheet tonight

Here is my request,
Just to play with you.
Don't shrug your shoulders,
Clayton beside me.
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,
For one month go there,
Clayton beside me


[Repeat chorus until first goal is conceded] :(

Ode to Staying Away

"50 Ways to Leave The Saddlers"
(Music: Paul Simon Lyrics: King Crimson)

The problem is all inside the Boardroom don’t you see
The answer is easy if you take it logically
The same for Fox and Dann, and then Richard Money
There must be fifty ways to leave The Saddlers

I know it's really not my place to intervene
But so many of us can’t see any future for the team
But I'll have my say, not meaning to sound mean
There must be fifty ways to leave the saddlers
Fifty ways to leave the saddlers

You just blame the rent, Kent
Find a new hobby, Bobby
You don't need the stress, Jess
Just listen to me
Causes too much pain, Wayne
We’m going down the drain
Owner takes the pee, Lee
Just get yourself free

Ooo, You just blame the rent, Kent
Find a new hobby, Bobby
You don't need the stress, Jess
Just listen to me
Causes too much pain, Wayne
We’m going down the drain
Owner takes the pee, Lee
Just get yourself free


You know it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
So the least I can do, is just clearly explain
About the fifty ways

We know it won’t get any better overnight
And in these dark financial days I know that money may be tight
And Gillingham at home was a truly shocking sight
There must be fifty ways to leave the saddlers
Fifty ways to leave the saddlers

You just blame the rent, Kent
Find a new hobby, Bobby
You don't need the stress, Jess
Just listen to me
Causes too much pain, Wayne
We’m going down the drain
Owner takes the pee, Lee
Just get yourself free

Ooo, You just blame the rent, Kent
Find a new hobby, Bobby
You don't need the stress, Jess
Just listen to me
Causes too much pain, Wayne
We’m going down the drain
Owner takes the pee, Lee
Just get yourself free


Ode to Mark Oxley
“Oxley Laddie”
(Music: Jimi Hendrix Lyrics: King Crimson) - To the tune of "Foxy Lady", MMF.


Oxley
Oxley

You know you’re a teenage shot-stopper
Oxley
You know you’re a Hull City goalkeeper
Oxley

We’re taking you on loan
It won’t do you no harm, no
You won’t have to sign, that’s fine
Ooh, Oxley laddie

I see you, heh, there between the sticks
Oxley
With Rene crocked we were left in a fix
Oxley
Ah, just listen now
We’ve made up our mind
Only Ince you’re behind
Don’t stay on your line, all the time
Oxley laddie

We’re taking you on loan
It won’t do you no harm, no
You won’t have to sign, that’s fine
Ooh, Oxley laddie

Here Mick comes
He’s comin’ to coach ya!
Oxley
Oxley
Oxley laddie

[Repeat chorus until stewards inform you that the smoking ban includes enflamed Fender stratocasters]


"Julian Gray" (Music: Gary Barlow Lyrics: King Crimson)

Today we could see Julian Gray in our side
Before season’s end,
Before we run out of time
Signed on a free
Came from Barnsley
Watch our league placing rise tonight
Signed on a free

Tonight we could be setting our sights so high
He’ll tear teams apart
And make their defenders sigh
Can you see him?
Can you see him sprinting by?
Can you cheer him now?
Can we all unfold our arms?

Tonight
Tonight

Oh signed on a free
Came from Barnsley
Watch our league placing rise tonight
Signed on a free

Oh
Loft the ball high
See him run wide
Let the strike force now come alive
Now he’s signed on a free

Today we could see Julian Gray in our side
Today we could see Julian Gray in our side

[Repeat chorus while laughing at how Port Vale are still rubbish, eh Robbie?]

Unity = brotherhood. Cyprus = Europe. Trash songs = me + Eurovision. The way forward for me on this thread was clear.

An Ode From Jeff Bonser
"Kisses From Me" (Music: Brotherhood of Man Lyrics: King Crimson)
This is the cover version by Billy Ray Cypruss.

Though my tenure should be up
Never led us to a cup
Margaritas I should sup
And reminisce
You think I (you think I)
Take the p***
But a landlord needs rent
By air mail these words are sent:

Cyprus villa for me
Paid for by Walsall F.C.
Goodbye Banks’s, goodbye
Don’t cry Royston, don’t cry
I would watch you on Sky
But missing Merson makes me cry


Saving Walsall is my claim
Club was going down the drain
I could feel supporters’ pain
That much is true
A deal was (a deal was)
There to do
Though it may make you sigh
Freehold sale…why shouldn’t I?


Cyprus villa for me
Paid for by Walsall F.C.
Goodbye Banks’s, goodbye
Don’t cry Royston, don’t cry
I would watch you on Sky
But missing Merson makes me cry


Will a protest with some flags
Hasten me to pack my bags
Halt my ‘club transforming’ gags?
Time will tell
Need options (need options)
If to sell
Find a Russian billionaire
Or a Saudi, I don’t care


Cyprus villa for me
Paid for by Walsall F.C.
Goodbye Banks’s, goodbye
Don’t cry Royston, don’t cry
I would watch you on Sky
But missing Merson makes me cry


[Repeat chorus while making pre-flight checks for helicopter jaunt to Paphos.]

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